eccentricass

Yesterday I was given some of the most horrible depressing news…The treatments they had Evan on were not working. The MRI showed things have gotten worse. There is another treatment, but the doctors say it probably won't work to cure him either. It will slow it down, giving him about another year (to June they said, apparently), as his test show he is nearing the end of what can be done to help him. As soon as his parents left (cause those caring smart doctors/secretaries thought it to be the best plan to tell his mother, whom he doesn't live with, and then not get a hold of anyone else and let her tell everyone else, including the patient!) we both broke down and cried onto each other. I cried a lot longer, and still just leak when the thought comes around again (like through this whole thing that I am rereading now).

I have been imagining what I'd do when the time actually comes, in hopes that thinking the worse that anything's got to be better…but unfortunately it back fired on me and the worst possible is now the future I can't and won't avoid.  I can't avoid it because there's nothing more I can do but take care of him and help him. I won't avoid it because I love him and want to be there for him as much and as long as I can. I am scared though, for those final moments…as I fear he will go out in the form of a severe seizure… I hope I am wrong and that he just goes easily. The thing that I fear most is seeing his eyes go blank before the seizure, and never seeing him come back into those eyes…..(never getting to say I love you one last time for him to hear).

I guess the best news out of all of this is, he is at peace with it. He knows and has known for awhile that this was his life, his fate. I think the thing that hurts him the most is the knowledge that this is going to tear my heart out, as well as everyone else who has had the pleasure of knowing this sweet angel of Gods own creation. This warrior (his name means warrior), this strong saint, my soul mate….

I could curse God for this, I could curse the doctors for this and I could curse his genes and the rest of the world and fate for only allowing me the honor of knowing and loving him for 5 or so years. Or I can take the best advice my mother has ever given me… And be thankful I knew my soul mate for as long I did. Be thankful and appreciate all that I can about him (even though his hasn't really been himself for the past 5 months). Hug and kiss him every day, tell him I love him every time I look at him.

Thank you all for the well wishes, the prayers and the kind words… I just wish our combined feelings could cure him.

This sounds like fun, and a good excuse to poke around some galleries!

For each of the first ten people answering to this journal, I will put his/her avatar and the three deviations I like most from his/her gallery on the list.

IMPORTANT: If you answer, you'll have to do the same in your journal, putting me on the first place, completing the list with nine other people. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone.

1 :thumb152953598: :thumb199035514: :thumb160256873:
2
3 :thumb122741363:
4 :thumb217331666: :thumb212891325: :thumb219937780:
5
6
7 :thumb216146932: :thumb213194398:
8
9
10

Okay so my couple month leave was not a vacation, trip, or anything cool. My computer fried. So I was home with mobile viewing access mostly. That's why I haven't been posting or responding and all that jazz.  But I have a new laptop now and am going to be posting new stuff, soon hopefully.

Some of you may be wondering how Evan (My Joker) is doing with his chemo. Well not so good on the days of and few after, but for a week and half he feels okay. I'm just praying that these treatments will cure it and it won't reoccur. But he is doing pretty well considering. And I thank all of you who think of and pray for him.

And now for the part not all may approve of, but luckily for those of you who dont approve this is going to be the only mentioning of it on here. I am going to start "cam modeling" but the more proper term would be cam stripper.  Yes I am going to start online stripping, that's what the name poll was about, what should my "stage name" be.

And I am going to submit all the name options (I have to submit more than one name) and I'm hoping Caysie Cosplay (or Caysie Cosplaie came up with that after the poll) or the other choices get picked. I am caysiecosplay90 or Caysie Cosplay

Because I am going to be doing cosplay, theme, dress up or fetish type strip teases/burlesque performance. I'm not going to do…what a lot of the other girls do.

Still I am NEVER going to be posting myself nude here or anywhere else public for that matter.  So if you are of the legal age and wish to go to a pay site and see me, just note me. I will link you.

So as I said this is the only mentioning of it, so just wish me luck that this goes well and that I can work from home and have more free time (not only for projects, but for Evan too).

I just got approved today. Here's my Twitter account if you want to fallow me and know when I'll be on twitter.com/CaysieCosplay , I can give you my bio/profile link, but my profile wont show up till Saturday when I broadcast for the first time

Also if you're a Harley cosplayer and haven't heard of this awesome collab event heres some info misskatequinn.tumblr.com/music… , its an event on on FB too!!www.facebook.com/profile.php?i…

Rules:
1. Post these rules
2. Each tagged person must post ten facts about themselves on their journal
3. Choose ten friends and put their icon on the same page
4. Go to their page and send a message saying you tagged them
5. NO TAGBACKS *Edit:More Like I dont Tag People, EVER..... So do it if you want, I know I've done this before, but what the hey, I'm sure I've changed a bit.


1. My boyfriend scared the shit out of me the other day, because I saw for the first time in our 5 years together him have a seizure, and it was a REALLY bad one too.

2. Dont worry he's fine, and having surgery (needle-brain-tumor-drain basically) and gamma knife radiation. Which should help greatly. *prays forever*

3. This Sunday, 2 days before his 3rd surgery for this, is our 5 year anniversary!! I have known the love of my life for 5 years now, and I can't even begin to describe the happiness.

4. This Sunday we are also going to a small con, where you get in free if you dress up might I add! And hopefully you will all get to see the catwoman costume!! However it wont be on me My very good friend will be wearing it!! Hooray!! Oh and I'll get to see again too!! Hopefully we can actually hang out!! (and I'll try to scan those batmobile pictures from the last con, post them as well >_<)

5. I've had tons and tons of motivation lately, but no means... and its very frustraiting!!

6. One of my motivations is to make another design of the working popgun (its going to be WAY batter...batter?better )!

7. I have recently watched Naruto...and I must admit the show is very good....however I still hate Narutards, who either only watches that anime or is to stuck up there own butt to make fun of it= more than 60% of the fans...

8. Oh boy I better think of more stuff you dont know about me quick, oh I am applying for a cosplay fetish site to make alot of cash quick and more shoot motivations (no nipples or v-jays of mine will ever be seen here on dA though, you'd have to pay and join the site if your that desperate). I havent got to apply again yet, net issues, but I made it to the second stage before, so heres hoping.

9. I've got some amazing friends on youtube you should check out
www.youtube.com/user/4ppelkrum… :Wonderful randomness and amazing editing skillz!!!
www.youtube.com/user/mrevilche… : Mostly Bad Ass action figures and satire + awesomely funny drunk videos
www.youtube.com/user/AlphaOmeg… : Video game reviews and Crazy Rants and Raves of a hardcore gamer.

10. I am in a contest and I know some have voted, but I want more!! Please go to this journal eccentricass.deviantart.com/jo… and Like! Like, like the wind!! If you havent already, stupid one like a profile oh well makes the vote more fair.